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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Law

The new semester has started a bit too soon for my liking. But I guess I don't have a choice :(. This time I've taken Business Law from the 7th semester. The first class was quite ok...in fact it was fun. Getting to know about the conditions that you need to satisfy to stand in a court of law as a witness were funny enough. You can be a witness if you:

  • Don't eat while walking
  • Have never missed a prayer, including tahajjud.
There were a few more weird points that I can't recall right now. But anyway, I thought...why not catch up on EVEN more ridiculously crazy facts & laws...you probably won't find them in Mercantile Law.



In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)



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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but
is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He
may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)



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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than "going blind!")



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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex
for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden
for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the
world that even comes close to this?)



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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on
the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)



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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in
tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)



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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the
first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the
act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)



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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)



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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only
"in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the
premises."


(Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)



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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff?)



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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)



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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...?)

(Did the govt. pay for this research??)



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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez. My life is complete, I can die now)



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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)



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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)



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And, the best for last.....



Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(Do you think they have bad breath?)

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Get this

Hey! Look what I found!! :D...the audio stories that we used to listen to when were like 5 years old...omg I laughed my ass off today after listening to podna podni hahaha...I'm not stoned.

http://www.muziqpakistan.com/songs.php?auth=79

Horoscopes by Adam Sandler

Horoscopes by Adam Sandler

Aquarius (Jan 23-Feb 22)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.

Pisces (Feb 23- Mar 22)
You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Aries (Mar 23 - April 22)
You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and
are a general dipshit.

Taurus (April 23- May 22)
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.

Gemini (May 23- June 22)
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.

Cancer (June 23- July 22)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)
You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

Sagittarius (Nov 23- Dec 22)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit.

Capricorn (Dec 23- Jan 22)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.