Monday, November 26, 2007

Bubbly!!! :D

Will you count me in?

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feeling like a child now
`Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts at my toes and I crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
please stay for a while now
Just take your time where ever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start at my toes make me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for awhile now
Just take your time where ever you go

But what am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just...mmmmmmmm

It starts at my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for awhile now
Just take your time
Where ever you go

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da dum
Bom bo da da da da da da da da da bom
Mmm mmm

I've been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose the feeling shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
holding me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
where ever, where ever, where ever you go

Oh wherever you go I always know
'Cause you make me smile baby just for a while

My bad

So...its around 3:30 am. Gotta go to college tomorrow and I'm still up for no real reason. The artificially created insomnia continues. Just came back from the carnival at Askari 3 and it kinda sucked. First day after the mids tomorrow and I can feel the pressure of the finals already. Quite a few assignment submissions coming up. Went to this MBR focus group conducted at some coffee house this saturday night with Hasan. The coffee was great especially because it was free. That was fun, except for when we were leaving...cuz this girl in the group actually knew me from my HRM class and was a witness to the me-on-the-floor-with-my-legs-up episode. And I had to tell the rest of the gang about it then - again. What they didn't know was that that wasn't the only thing that happened that day. Later that night, when I was on a walk in front of Expo, a white Civic stopped in front of me. The person inside had wet, dark black hair, tons of kajal and make-up. "Cmon janu, get in the car! Cmon!" - it was a guy. Apparently someone very gay. I just kept walking to save my ass from being gang raped by these mysterious silhouettes in the car. It was when I discussed this with my friends in the neighborhood that I found out that its a norm at Expo at night. Just your presence over there means you're waiting to be picked up by someone like...that someone mentioned above. In short, its a statement and it says: I'M GAY & I WANT IT BAD. Yes I know it may surprise a few people but walking around expo at night is not recommended anymore if you're straight. And this was worse than that time when this weird guy with a pink cell phone came to me when I was waiting for a friend at KFC - Khayaban-e-Ittehad and asked me if I'm the guy from that commercial. I said John when he asked me my name and ran away. I suck when it comes to striking up conversations with homosexuals and pimps. I know.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"How does it feel?"

You don't have to mention it again, thank you. No it is not necessary to bring it up again. Please don't, ever. Yes I know it seemed pretty funny to 40 odd people when I made history again today. And though its hard to believe, I found it funny too! You girls are useless, start exercising or something yaar! Pathetic reflexes I must say. I mean you could see the horror on my face as I was falling almost in slow motion. And I instantly knew its that time of the year when even my cheeks turn pink. I guess I took it pretty well though. Someone told me its not how bad you fall, but how long you stay on the ground. I got up all right! And gave you all an opportunity to laugh for 10 mins plus whenever you see me again. I guess there's something about this blue shirt. It always leads to an increase in my infamy. And somehow I end up liking it. Yes sir I'm fine and feel pretty amazing. I'm quite used to making an ass out of myself in public. Its been a while, yeah. And you know what's even cooler? Writing stuff that nobody really gets. Yeah baby, I rock...wooh!

Thursday, November 08, 2007


Things haven't changed much since I was 4. The black ink spots on my drawing room wallpaper, the furniture, old books, cards, notes, how they make me feel when I close my eyes and turn the pages...and how the air off them smells like 1991. And're still everywhere. Sure I was innocent back then. All I wanted to do was to hold your hand and look at you forever without ever saying anything. And you always knew how it was, or perhaps it was the greatest lie I had ever told myself. Every song I heard, every movie I watched, every person I met...somehow reminded me of you. And it still happens once in a very dark blue moon. It wasn't your fault. Its just silly me...I ended up relating everything to you. And made it an excuse for everything I did wrong in my life. I started deriving pleasure from living in my self-created misery. But it did end, and it wasn't pretty. Calling it awkward would be an understatement. I hope you understand, I had no choice. I had to do what I did. And everything happens for the best, or that's how one should rationalize anyway. And you still visit me sometimes. Thank you for that. Thank you for those glances from behind trees and fences when I'm walking slow and you think I wouldn't notice. I notice a lot but realization evades me until later. And guess what...I just realized you'll never read this.
"...i wonder how many 20 year olds write blogs and diaries and notes every single day littered with the word love in it. i wonder how many glorify it when it is bullshit and how many think they have it when they dont. i wonder how many people feel obliged to love only because they hear he is in love with them, and then i wonder how many tell themselves every day they are soooooo in love maaaaan, because it makes them complete. i wonder how many people say they are in love because they feel beautiful when he is looking at them. or how many strongly believe this is love because they cant get over how beautiful she looks when the sun falls into her eyes. or how many think they are in love because heyyyy!this must belove because he isnt gorgeous and he isnt so terrific and yet i cant get enough of him.
and im sitting here wondering...i hate teen angst phenomenon.
and im sitting here telling myself I am above all of it. or past it. and im lying again. but i believe it. so dont point that finger at me...."