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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Half -asleep- stupor

Its moments like these that I live for. For that tear that rolls down my cheek when the happiness is overwhelming and I know that no one knows. And when I can justify my madness, my passion, my energy and every moment of sheer, brutal hard work I put in...for moments like these. Overcoming the odds and defying fate, I have come back from behind to win this battle. Only to find what I always do...it was meant to be. I have learned to like this feeling...this way of life. And I know I will look back to this day, this moment, this place...and I will miss it. I have become so used to this. Sitting here in the dark, humming to classical music or screaming to rock... till I see light from the bottom of the doors to my left or right. I prefer the light from the right cuz it means my dad who asked me to go to sleep early tonight, like every night, has come out for a drink. I love the thrill of quickly jumping into bed and pretending to sleep. Sometimes it's okay to be childish and immature, I amuse myself with the thought. When the light comes from the left, its just the Sun doing its work, waking normal people up...and I chuckle thinking about how I'm sitting in the middle of East and West...in the South....which makes no sense to normal people, of course. I often think about those whose lives I have touched. I never delete the "thank you" texts. I like to collect them...they are one of my most precious intangible collections. I try to make at least one person feel special every day, cuz it makes me feel special. I'm not sure what I really seek...but at the end of the day, its moments like these that I live for.

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