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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Ibteda - My Graduation

Kuch khoi khoi si baatein,
Kuch bhooli bhisri si yaadein,
Kuch loag naey puranay se,
Kuch geet jo gaey suhanay se,

Aao hum tum laut chalein,
Un beetay huay zamano mein,
Jahan pyar tha sabki aankhon mein,
Aur duain theen zabaano pe,

Kuch waqt jo lamhay loot gaey,
Kuch rishtay dil ke toot gaey,
Aao phir se unko joren,
Dil ko apne yoon na chorein,

Dard se ab kyon darta hai?
Kyon khud ko behlaata hai?
Jo subha ka bhoola shaam ko lautay,
Kab bhoola wo kehlata hai?

Dard mila jin loagon se,
Un sab ko mainay maaf kia,
Kya rakha hai is nafrat mein?
Mainay dil ko saaf kia,

Azaad hai meri rooh ye aaj,
Dil per koi zor nahin,
Dushman bhi meray jaan lein,
Khaamosh hoon main kamzor nahin,

Aa pohncha hoon main manzil per,
Duaon ki ilteja hai,
Anjaam hai ye is kahani ka,
Ya phir ye ibteda hai....

Monday, September 14, 2009

Born to be wild??

The only thing worse than danger is invisible danger. It's a jungle out there, an apparently civilized one with animals as bad as man can get, hidden under coats and layers of make-up, designer clothes, and jewelery. And behind imperturbable facades, living examples of equanimity. And eyes that give away lies if not hidden behind dark sunglasses. It's all in the mind, and the Tube has owned it or rather pwned it. We have all been comprehensively mind-fucked by people sitting thousands of miles away comfy on the cheeks of their fat asses.

I don't know what the world feels today but I think there's an elevated sense of awareness around me. Call me paranoid but there's a feeling of being spoon-fed a bunch of lies everyday for breakfast, lunch and dinner interspersed with random spells of wholesome bullshit during the mid breaks with ratings high enough to cause air traffic congestion. All this in the form of endless bombardment of advertisements inviting naive masses to chase illusions, and senseless soaps that never cease to amaze me but not as much as aunties who are hopelessly obsessed with the same cycle of events presented to them in a slightly different sequence with new faces and ever increasing vulgarity being slowly pumped in our veins and projected as the norm of the day.

But the biggest villains I see are a variety of news channels operating for the sole purpose of minting cash at the expense of our peace of mind and the image of this country we call Pakistan. It takes little observation to notice how they thrive on controversy manufactured by the so-called elite journalists of this country. And that's exactly what they're paid for: Senseless Pak-bashing and coming up with the craziest shit and making it look real. And the worst part is that they have fans, lots of them. There are people who believe them. Their stories leave an impact that can be felt when you go out on the street, or talk to your friends on the phone, or go to college, or observe how the people in public buses fight everyday (please see: Bus Kerdo Bus!). They can change perceptions when they want, topple governments, bring back useless Cheif Justices, give impetus to the thugs disservicing the noble profession of Lawyers and demonizing them once the job of removing the only sincere leader this country had had in decades is completed. And now fueling the trend of making fun of a President who must have heard John Milton when he said "Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven". Oh indeed, he is an incarnate of Lucifer himself and the news media can't really be blamed for that one. The guy talks about Democracy being the "best revenge", let me tell you in my opinion, a country like ours with less than 40% literacy and less than 20% real literacy can not handle "Democracy". Like I said, It's a jungle out there and we need a sincere leader with a big baseball bat (or maybe something a little more sophisticated) in his hands to deal with the unprecedented issues this society faces today with an aim to educate the masses first and inculcate some discipline in all of us and respect for this country so that the educated class does not use it as a platform to fly away to greener pastures. It's a long debate.

I don't know who or what to believe anymore. Let us all search for the truth and stop believing everything being shown on the idiot box. And I know the truth is out there. Let us all try to focus on things other than simply ourselves. And for that we need to take a day off, take a break from our capitalism infected lives devoid of any spiritual sense of existence. The day we begin to accept that we've become tools and robots for a system governed by sinister agendas contrived at a level unheard of, that will be a start.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I'll Never Let You Part

"In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart"

-Michael Jackson (Will you be there)

You will always hold a special place in my life MJ. And the world will never forget you.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

A walk to remember

Prisoner to an endless cycle of internal decadence, if you lose your way then turn around and look for me when you're jilted. Follow the bread crumbs and pick up the trail to the misplaced castle of your lost dreams. Recollect the forgotten stories again and curse the murky depths of your memory for letting you down. Revisit your promises and the tears you shed for the very dream you left lifeless. The passage may look treacherous but trust me for once, it's safe. Don't let the screaming scare you. Don't let the tears haunt you. It's just the past...and even though it hates you with every inch of it's existence, it won't harm you. And along the way if you find some sleepless nights and words that won't be uttered again, please bring them back to me. They're homeless in your past. Don't wait for me at the gates. Leave that excess baggage and pick up my note from the ground without walking all over it this time. My words bleed and they led you here and now you know why. I'm not grieving for you. Back to your prison you go now, there's no way out.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Rumors about my engagement

An empty mind is a devil's workshop. And it seems like the devil is on his way towards a major business expansion.

There have been rumors about my engagement lately. Today I'm posting here to clarify that as of May 21, 2009 I AM NOT ENGAGED and I have NEVER been engaged. I have nothing against people who get engaged or the act of getting engaged and will definitely announce it to the world when (and if) I get engaged.

And to the empty minds who are being silly, pretty please with a big cherry on top, get a life.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Orange

Baba, orange makes your strong, right?
Yes beta, go on, have some
Yumm...these taste great...oh um, I swallowed one of the seeds baba!
Oh that's bad! Now it will grow a tree out of you, muwuhuhahaha!!
No way!
Yes way!
No!
Yes!
NO!!
YES!!
NOOO!!!!
Oh why are you crying? Just because you're going to grow a tree out of you?!
Nahin..main ye soch ker ro raha hoon ke wo bahar KAHAN se niklay ga!!

Friday, May 01, 2009

Madness that keeps me safe from me

Here I am, making the biggest mistake I know I can ever make on a calm, uneventful day, looking at frozen pieces from the cheap red wine with awe. The background music from the Saya song doing its magic. And at this very moment, I also want to be a star, get to hang in a bar, want to go to Vegas and hit the payers just to forget my scars. Watching the dance that we call life, and even here in this dark, lonely room, I feel surrounded by people. They keep popping up from the windows behind me that have no cover. I can't hide. They shout my name..."ATHAR!!"...and God knows how many people hate that name just because this Athar guy woke them up in the middle of a peaceful afternoon. And as of now even though its way past midnight, my cell phone keeps ringing and beeping. This is madness. They know I'm not sleeping. I never sleep. My mom knows the truth though. I try to concentrate, coming back to redesigning this blank piece of paper, I won't call it page. Page is dead. Its a strange month, old Urdu and Persian poetry seems to make so much more sense all of a sudden. Momin Khan Momin, Meer Taqi Meer...they were pure geniuses, bigger than the Einsteins and Edisons I'd dare say, they can defy the laws of physics. Its like they personally knew me. And indeed, the only ones to have ever known me. Its a strange feeling to see someone else talking about your deepest vulnerabilities. I've been robbed. There's a stranger out there who knows what I look and sound like when I cry...and doesn't care. Stranger I've spent countless hours with, holding hands...I let my world revolve around my mistake, the kind I never seem to learn from, the kind I seem to have been in love with. I now see how it has transformed. Its like a walking banner with my caricatures all over it drawn with weak, red crayons. I wonder why you don't shout my name. Why do you only whisper it to your so called friend when you see me walk by and turn your back on me? From you I have nothing to hide. I'm not a liar, but I wish I were. Why do you try to hide your face? It didn't have to be this way...I let my world revolve around you. I keep saying this again and again and its like a tongue twister involved in a twist of fates. Those who hate me - please hate me more. Let me know and I'll give you more reason to do so. And that is my revenge, and revenge is sweet. I know its madness. A.R. Rahman creates masterpieces, I want to dance like no one's watching, just like the night we shattered the dance floor at RYLA. This is madness. I hope nobody's reading this...even though I feel surrounded by people who listen to my stories and laugh as I entertain them, they call it a movie in words. This is madness...and I like it. My cell phone is ringing again. I'm not picking up. Its 3am and the sms says "u sleeping? r u arrite?". This is madness, I love it...and I should get back to it.

Friday, January 16, 2009

The last few pages...

Soaked in rain and tears, they still smell like Burberry London. The words written on the last few pages of my notebook are now obscure, and sometimes when I'm alone and fail to surround myself with people, I try not to let my mind wander...but it happens. I remember asking you to close your eyes as I closed mine under that starry night sky when you first held my hand, I remember wishing I could stop time. I remember wishing I could feel like that forever. It was funny when you pointed out the tremble in my hand when your entire presence was shaky. There couldn't have been a better conversation where nobody said a word and yet nothing was left unsaid. I haven't forgotten anything, I can't see how I ever will. And when you had to go, I wish you had trusted me...that I could handle it. I wish you hadn't made me hate you. I wish you had believed me. Surrounded by secrets, mysteries and lies...Its sad to see the path you've chosen for yourself...I can't see you go there...So I'll just hide behind my notebook and obscure the words on the last few pages...but we both know its gonna end in tears for you. Its just that now only one of us cares about your tears. And its not me.