Sunday, March 07, 2010

Half Hearted Goodbye

I have run out of words. My advice works for my friends, not me. I have run out of hope, and yet I have grown bigger than my fears. Life was never this simple. I had never thought that one day I would have to obey the clock. I was never this organized. But I have run out of patience when I needed it the most and it's time to move on. I'm outgrowing others but maybe not growing up. In a slight state of paranoia, I choose to go with the flow, parting ways with others in this stream, unable to keep up... I have run out of steam. Good things happen to me when I least expect them to. But I know how bad things happen when you try to keep everyone happy. You just can't... I have run out of sympathy. I fail to comprehend the ease with which people screw up and then point fingers. I have run out of mercy. As a child I was taught that there is nothing more important than telling the simple, plain truth. Morals and ethics are paramount everyday with everything we say. So as for all the times I said something with tears in my eyes, I truly meant it. And its the same even today, right now. But I have run out of tears. Looks like its that time of the year again when I publish my mind on and let everyone know that I think about these small issues in life. And I know everyone does. But to be like everyone has never appealed to me. In fact, the mere thought of it is repulsive. I don't even want to put myself in others' shoes anymore. I have run out of empathy. And yet I know that I'm the collection of everyone I've ever met. Some ordinary, some special people. I remember some ordinary ones, and all the special ones. I don't "love" anyone though. I've had my fair share and it's been a wild ride, like a roller coaster on a bumpy track, I can't handle it anymore. The concept doesn't suit me. I have run out of love. And with a quick glance at the cruel clock, I believe I have run out of time.